Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Anger is Yucky

Yesterday I found out that despite my optimism my SSHRC application was not forwarded by the uni. For the third.fucking.time. I was beyond angry -- I was a crying, throwing-things-around, shaking mess. I just don't understand what else I'm supposed to do. I have a perfect CV and strong references and I improve every year. I'm not sure what is going on behind the scenes, but somebody up there doesn't like my project at all.

I hate feeling so much anger, in part because it leads to poisonous jealousy of people who DO have SSHRCs (and people at other unis who get forwarded with far less on their CVs to boot). Sometimes I feel like my academic career will always be this way -- a couple people really believe in me, others write me off as kooky, and some people really dislike my work and try to crush it. And that makes me sad.

But I do have some good academic news: the proposal I was bitching about writing last month has been accepted for the giant ACCUTE/Canadian Federation for the Humanities and Social Sciences Congress at the end of May. I get to fly out to the big city of Toronto for it, and I get travel funding. Yay me! So shove that up your ass, stupid SSHRC vetters.
doctor T 3:11 p.m.


That sucks about your SSHRC application... what asshats! :o(

Congrats on your proposal though... that is very exciting! You'll have to get together with the Toronto girls.
w00t! yay for travel funding and proposals being accepted! SSHRC is all over the place - everyone in our library school who has applied for one (2 last year, 2 this year) has got one and then they don't even do any research. I think it's more about the program you're in.

maybe this will make you feel better:
um, so, yeah, look at that link already!!!
Woah. Where the hell did you find that?? He looks kinda hairy -- although he has in general lately, actually. Ha.
oh god! i was hoping that was a really old picture or something. i was looking for a pic to send my friend here to show her how she looks like Grissom (Grisham?) from CSI but that was all i could find. i was like, usually he looks much cuter! but i guess maybe not?
are you allowed to discuss the reasons for your rejection with the committee? or are they ivory-towered pompous non-shit-stinking etc. etc. wartheads?

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