Monday, February 27, 2006
Gar, grr, argh, haaaaaaaaaaar
There's no point in going over WHY I failed my workplan so miserably last week. I'll just chalk it up to exhaustion and forget about it. The reading list is nearly complete, but the Dracula paper remains phantasmagorical. Today I've yet to do a single productive thing, unless you count paying bills online. The hubster was in a car accident this morning on the way to work so the car may be a write-off. It's grey and cold out. Green Shield health care sucks ass, I slept like ass last night and my morning bagel was hard and cold.
On the bright side of things, I received my copy of The Fiddlehead 226 late last week. Four of my Picchu poems were published so I'm now officially a poet.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
New Exam, New Work Plan
I still haven't heard a peep about the schedule for INCS in July or ACCUTE in May. I think those will be the only two conference I'll be presenting at before the fall. Conference travel is expensive and this summer is promising to be particularly crazy. I would really like to have a draft of my introduction ready to go by the end of August but that really depends on where we're living, when we move and whether or not my brain has exploded.
Daily goals for this week:
- 2 hours work per day on reading list
- 1 hour per day preparing Dracula paper
- Exercise and/or meditation daily
Friday, February 17, 2006
Exam Results Are In....
One more flaming hoop cleared on the path towards academic fame and fortune (ha!)
Monday, February 13, 2006
More Exam Anxiety
The hubster has told me repeatedly that I know this area inside-out, backwards-forwards, upside-down and right-side up, and that I could have written it five years ago and kicked ass. So why the anxiety? Why this feeling that no matter what I do, the outcome will be shit?
I think it's partially because I thought I did really well on my last exam but the markers seemed to think otherwise. I also think it's classic exam anxiety over how unfair a huge cumulative exam seems. I know more about Victorian lit and culture than anyone I know, except my supervisor, but if I just have a bad day, or crack during the writing, or get confused or don't sleep well, I come out looking like shit.
Maybe it's to my advantage that I have this nasty infected left hand. Maybe if I go into the exam with a sling (which I have to anyway, as I can't keep my hand below my heart or it throbs horribly) they'll pity me and be sympathetic if I write a pile of shit.
Oh for the days when I could spit on paper, throw a comb over it and get an A-. Doctoral studies are harder, if only because my own expectations of my performance have changed.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Pre-exam bitch session!
Anyway, it's infected, so I'm on antibiotics and the lovely hospital staff gave me a tetanus shot as mine was out-of-date. The good news is that the bite is on my left hand so I can still write. The bad news is I didn't get home till after 6 this morning and didn't get up today till 3:30pm. I have two full days left before my major field exam, and if my sleep schedule is fubared I will a)not have much energy to do a good review/read session, and b)will likely get a shitty sleep the night before the exam.
Bleargh. I could really use a pint right now.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
On Friends and all that
Seeing the recent posts of Foxy and siouxcitysue on the joys of friends made me all nostalgic for the days when K.K. and I used to hang out and drink wine into the wee hours and make asses of ourselves. I just got off the phone with K.K., who is now far, far away in the East. In honour of our very silly friendship, here is a picture to remind everyone what grad school is really about.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Exam = Illness
I feel like I'm 5 again. When I was a kid I would always get super excited about any upcoming holiday, birthday, event -- any excuse for an event -- and I'd work myself into illness. Many a Christmas day found doctor T lying on a couch at whereever dinner was taking place, with a bucket for vomiting and Blue Bear tucked in at my side. I have no Blue Bear now, but I do have a couple of pretty cuddly cats and a nice big bowl in case of pukage. It's good to know some things never change, but it's sad to think that I now get over-excited about giant doctoral exams rather than parties and holidays.
Please send healthy vibes in the general direction of the Island, and let's hope I'm healthier for my final exam in May.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Links -- What the Hell?
I think I'm putting a bit too much thought into this linkage thing. Hell, I think I'm putting a bit too much thought into my blog lately and not enough into the Rossettis and the Victoria prose genre. And hell, I say hell too much.