Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Anger is Yucky

Yesterday I found out that despite my optimism my SSHRC application was not forwarded by the uni. For the third.fucking.time. I was beyond angry -- I was a crying, throwing-things-around, shaking mess. I just don't understand what else I'm supposed to do. I have a perfect CV and strong references and I improve every year. I'm not sure what is going on behind the scenes, but somebody up there doesn't like my project at all.

I hate feeling so much anger, in part because it leads to poisonous jealousy of people who DO have SSHRCs (and people at other unis who get forwarded with far less on their CVs to boot). Sometimes I feel like my academic career will always be this way -- a couple people really believe in me, others write me off as kooky, and some people really dislike my work and try to crush it. And that makes me sad.

But I do have some good academic news: the proposal I was bitching about writing last month has been accepted for the giant ACCUTE/Canadian Federation for the Humanities and Social Sciences Congress at the end of May. I get to fly out to the big city of Toronto for it, and I get travel funding. Yay me! So shove that up your ass, stupid SSHRC vetters.
doctor T 3:11 p.m. | 6 comments |

Monday, December 05, 2005

Shit Days

Today was one of those inexplicably shit days. I felt uncomfortable, cranky and generally unsatisfied. I slept in after a weird interrupted sleep last night and when I got up I intended to do some housework but I couldn't bring myself to do anything besides unload, reload, unload and reload the dishwasher. Mike and I went to do some grocery shopping and we encountered many inconsiderate, ass-faced folks while parking and shopping. One woman took our cart as we were about to put carrots and pears into it -- what the fuck, was she blind or just stupid? Some days I just want to punch the world in the face.

I ended up heading to the gym in the early evening, and that was good. I sweated out a lot of my anger, although I was rather bitchy to the crazy guy who wanted to steal my bench. Seriously, buddy, you picked the wrong day to think a woman doesn't have a right to use the weight benches. You're lucky I was already through two circuits and had worked out some frustration, because otherwise you would have marks on your face that look suspiciously like the imprints on the 15 lb barbells I was using.
doctor T 8:12 p.m. | 4 comments |