Monday, February 13, 2006
More Exam Anxiety
The hubster has told me repeatedly that I know this area inside-out, backwards-forwards, upside-down and right-side up, and that I could have written it five years ago and kicked ass. So why the anxiety? Why this feeling that no matter what I do, the outcome will be shit?
I think it's partially because I thought I did really well on my last exam but the markers seemed to think otherwise. I also think it's classic exam anxiety over how unfair a huge cumulative exam seems. I know more about Victorian lit and culture than anyone I know, except my supervisor, but if I just have a bad day, or crack during the writing, or get confused or don't sleep well, I come out looking like shit.
Maybe it's to my advantage that I have this nasty infected left hand. Maybe if I go into the exam with a sling (which I have to anyway, as I can't keep my hand below my heart or it throbs horribly) they'll pity me and be sympathetic if I write a pile of shit.
Oh for the days when I could spit on paper, throw a comb over it and get an A-. Doctoral studies are harder, if only because my own expectations of my performance have changed.
Excellent blog by the way -- mind if I link it to mine?
Link away! I have already linked to yours. :)
(I hope that you don't mind me posting a comment: I surfed on in from Tabitha Grimalkin's blog.)
BTW, love the Peter Frampton reference!
: ) "Carine"